Way back, back before knowing was even possible, because knowing requires proof, knowing requires time, back before there were days, hundreds of them, before there were words, millions of them, before there were countless things between us that clutter the landscape of our world, I knew.
He knew too, I think.
Except with no time and no proof, all there was left to do was explore. The days passed almost like a movie rewinding, we knew it was love, but we had to prove it, we knew there was something, but we had to see it, we wondered what could be and then we met; long after all the days, all the words, all the things between us. In many ways it was like starting over again, no more exploring in the dark, wondering what was what and what belonged where.
The proof isn't for us, at least I don't need it, but I see that everyone else does, so I do the work it takes to answer every query, to know as much as I can, because they like answers. I know all I need to know, and it's such a small amount of knowing that it doesn't seem like enough to anyone.
It amazes me when I take a look around and see how much has accumulated, the wonder of it all, the way we made something out of nothing but words and time. In a lot of ways, it was engulfing, a swell that seemed impossible not to be carried by, an avalanche of the ice and snow that had built up over the years.
There comes a time after that to survey and dig out and make decisions. And so, I will go to see him. I have enjoyed this time, being consumed, delighting in so many pleasurable feelings, endless discovery. I will bring the best I can to this new place.
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