Everything is about to change. One way or another. Fork in the road, nothing will be the same, that moment in time you'll always wonder what if? kind of change.
Every day adds a new wrinkle, another complication, more of the anxiousness surrounding big change. The swells are rising, the tide is turning, it's about to swallow us up whole. You can't feel it?
Maybe I'm too sensitive, maybe I'm too observant, maybe I've been staring too hard trying to figure out the depths of the change I'm facing, but it's finally coming to fruition, the change I've been feeling for months, and as I look around, it's happening to him, and her, and them and we're all about to be drowned in it.
All I ask for, all I want, is for it to come, finally, to stop the churning and roiling of indecision, of wonder, of curiosity. I want to drown for once and for all and be delivered to dry land, the security of ground beneath my feet, to see one place and know it as mine, to belong somewhere and feel safe there.
To be lost like this, not knowing what tomorrow will bring, feeling lashed and bound by change which should feel free and pleasant has been an utterly harrowing experience. I've lost weight, I've lost my voice, I've lost my self.
And when I find dry land, who will I be? I'm already forever changed.
